Small Talk

A friend called in with her 16 year old daughter, we hadn't seen them for a while and the daughter had put on quite a bit of weight. We were very careful not to mention anything that was until my 6 year old asked her
"ARE YOU PREGNANT?? Ouch!!
Alicia

My 11 year old son got a new bike and wanted a lock that didn't have keys.
I suggested a 'combination' lock instead and he said 'Yeah, great then I can write the number on the lock so that I won't forget the number'!!!!!
Marissa, Dublin

I set a Science exam for 1st years recently and one question asked :WHAT IS TISSUE? One answer written was
A tissue is a small white square used to blow your nose with!!
Sam Science Teacher

My Uncle died recently and when his 7 year old grandson went to his house he had the following conversation with his mother:

SON:"Mum now that Grandad is dead shur he won't need the telly any more"?

Mum : No love, he won't

A few minutes later.........

Son: Mum now that Grandad's dead shur he won't need his IPOD anymore

Mum : No love, he won't

The grandson did a complete tour of his Grandad's house and every so often asked his mother about different things that grandad would not need anymore on account of his death. After a while she asked him why he was asking all the questions and he said:

"Well if Grandad doesn't need all this stuff can I have it for my room at home"!!!!!

Was in Croke Park on St. Patrick's day for the Club hurling and football GAA finals when I overhear a little fella ask his mum " Mum are we here to watch a RUGBY match or a SOCCER match"? I found this hilarious but I'm sure that the die hard GAA people would have been horrified.!!
Madge

I was watching a child in my class who was clearly not listening. To recapture her attention I asked her a question relvant to the subject matter, knowing that she would not be able to give an answer. She thought for a minute and then said " I'm sorry Miss, but my memory won't give me the answer"
Didn't see that reply coming!!
Deirdre, Primary Teacher

We were watching Patricia Mc Kenna on the charity skating last night on the Late Late Show. My kids were in stitches at how awful she was. In her defence,I said: "Lads that's not fair, that ice stuff is very hard", to which my youngest replied " I hope so or else they'll fall through and drown"!!
Mella